In this exercise, you will reflect on your family tree and what you may have inherited from your parents and others. For those of you with children or grandchildren, you will also reflect on what you may be passing on to them as an inheritance.
For most of us this is likely to be a mixed experience: there will be much for which we can rejoice and be grateful; there will also be some difficulties, regrets or hurts. I would encourage you to embrace both sides. Give thanks to your loving God for your family and for all the good things you have inherited. Hold before God any hurts or difficulties that come to light, seeking the healing and forgiveness that the Holy One alone can give – both for yourself, and for other members of your family.
For some people, this exercise could be very hard: there may be little, if anything, that you feel you can give thanks to; there may be very deep wounds that you carry from your childhood or adult life. If that is your experience, I would encourage you to go gently with yourself. You may want to leave this exercise for now; or seek someone who can stand with you on this particular journey – a friend, a spiritual guide, a prayer partner, a counsellor. Remember that Jesus, the pain bearer and life giver, walks with you and will be gentle with you: ‘There is no darkness…
On a piece of paper, or in your journal, draw your family tree. Include your siblings, your parents, and any step-parents; your grandparents; and any other family members whom you feel are significant. If you have children or grandchildren, include them too.
Think about your parents:
- What are/were they like as people?
- What are your memories of them as you were growing up?
- Give thanks for any good memories
- Hold before God any negative or hurtful memories
- What values and attitudes do you think they have passed on to you?
- How do you feel about your inheritance from your parents?
- If you are able, give thanks for the positive things you have inherited from them
- Ask God for healing and transformation of any negative attributes you may have inherited
- If you are able, ask God’s forgiveness of your parents for any hurts or negative attributes they have passed on to you. If, at this stage, you feel unable to forgive or ask God’s forgiveness for them, then ask God that, in time, you may receive the grace to ask for this.
Think about your grandparents and any other significant family members
- Think about what you may have inherited from any of them
- Repeat the process above for any significant family member
If you have children or grandchildren, think of each of them in turn
- What are they like as growing, developing individuals?
- What values, attitudes or attributes do you think you may have passed on to them?
- What values, attitudes or attributes do you think they may have inherited from others?
- Give thanks to God for each one, for the precious individual they are
- Hold each one before God, asking that their inheritance from you and from others will be what God would want for them
- Seek God’s forgiveness and healing for any hurts you may have passed on to them
You may want to conclude this time by holding each family member before God in turn, praying the following prayer:
May they be filled with light
May the indwelling presence of Christ heal them
May their fears be changed to love
May they be a gift ready to be given
Finally, pray the same prayer for yourself:
May I be filled with light
May the indwelling presence of Christ heal me
May my fears be changed to love
May I be a gift ready to be given