Vacare Deo

‘I said, “O for the wings of a dove,

that I might fly away and be at rest”,

I yearn to flee to the mountains,

to make my dwelling in the wilderness.’

So I really have done it: stepped out of the clutter and busyness of my life at home; left it all behind for a while, and stepped on that plane.  At least temporarily, for 3 months.  Setting it aside and taking a rest; a vacation.

Vacare Deo: Being free for God.

And here I am, sitting outside on the verandah and Colette and John’s place, enjoying the cool stillness of the Australian morning, just occasionally interrupted by the wild screeching of parrots, but otherwise peaceful, quiet.  With tropical birds singing their morning chorus, cicadas chirruping, and the gentle rustle of the breeze through the eucalyptus trees.  A new year.  A new start.  A fresh beginning on the journey of my life.

There is much to look back on in my journey so far: my growing years – out in Hong Kong – learning, growing, developing – through school and university; my family years – life with Helen, our wonderful marriage, bringing up Esther and Joe, Cambodia and our ongoing journey with Servants, my developing career; and then, these past three turbulent years – the roller coaster ride of Esther and Joe’s amazing achievements, their moving away from home, the Land’s End to John O’Groats cycle ride, my stroke, Helen’s death.  The sudden emptiness. Silence.  Anguish.

Then, slowly picking myself up again.  Learning to walk again this labyrinth of my life.

This time, even more than before, dependent on so many others to support and hold me.

A new year.  A new beginning.  And time to step aside.  To pause and reflect.  Full of wonder at the mystery of life.  Full of gratitude for all the blessings I’ve known.  Full of hope for the future – wherever that journey may lead me.

Vacare Deo.